The unsuccessful cake smash...

Every one year old needs a cake smash! I love the idea of a cake smash, I love it when Tyler gets messy and dirty, it's fun and that's what a baby is suppose to do! Tyler's bff, Jalen did a cake smash for his 1st birthday, it turned out perfectly! Baby J got dirty, messy, cake was eaten, cake was smeared, cake was everywhere!!! So I was super excited to do one for Tyler!
I was certain that it would turn out perfectly for Tyler as well, the kid LOVES food and loves to stick his hand into EVERYTHING! I put a white table cloth on the ground, the top tier of his birthday cake in front of him, and waited for him to go to town!

So he started off with just staring at the cake, then started to look around at everyone (we had both our families there, around 25 people, all with cameras ready to go), and then back to staring at the cake. So hubby decided to help him out a little by poking his finger into the cake, but still no reaction from Tyler....Tyler was so distracted by all the people around him, he rather crawl around and play than smash the cake!
So I decided to smash the cake myself and feed him some of it, thinking that it might peak his interest and get him going..


But after he tasted the cake, he was outta there...LOL!
Sigh Tyler, why do you always have to make things difficult!! Maybe we will have better luck next year....

Happy 1st Birthday Tyler!!

I started thinking about Tyler's birthday celebration back in Spring, I love throwing parties and was excited to plan this birthday celebration for our sweet baby! I honestly don't know how I came up with the Pirate theme, just one of my odd ideas! After months of research, working on all the little details, and planning in my head, the back to back parties had came and gone!












Tyler was unfortunately sick for both of his parties, luckily, he was a trooper, besides being a bit clingy and wanted to be held all the time, he still managed to party it up with his little buddies! We were blessed with great weather on both days, and it was the perfect way to enjoy the last few weeks of summer. Although I was busy running in and out of the kitchen, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Amongst all the chaos, I was able to stand back and look at all the happy faces, friends mingling, mommies exchanging stories, daddies downing their beers and babies laughing, all the hard work was all worth it. We are really blessed to have such an amazing group of friends and family who helped and supported us through the past year.











As I look at Tyler now, crawling everywhere and busy getting himself into trouble (he is reaching for the TV right now!!), it's hard to imagine that he was a 7 lbs baby just a year ago.














Looking back on this amazing year we had, I spent a lot of time crying in the first few months, tears of frustration, fear and stress. Instead of stressing over every little thing, I really wished I was able to relax and enjoyed the first 3 months more. We had a lot of challenges over the past year, not more than any other new parents, but at least I can honestly say now that the only tears I have is tears of joy! Hubby and I used to wonder why people have more than one kid, taking care of a newborn is really no easy task. But now I know why, the happiness and love you feel when your baby smiles at you, call you mama for the first time and how their little eyes light up when they see you walk into the room, that feeling as a parent is truly indescribable...

Sundays...

Everyone hates Mondays, but I've always hated Sundays more, I hate the anticipation of going back to school/work more than the actual day. I hate the feeling of looking at the clock and realizing that the weekend is coming to an end, and I have to start preparing myself for another week of work. I have been feeling that same type of anxiety for the past weeks. The anticipation of going back to work and leaving my baby is making it hard for me to enjoy my last weeks of mat leave. And fast forward to today, I only have two full days left with Tyler, and I'm trying really hard to soak it all in.


I know Tyler is going to be in good hands, and I know he is going to have no problem spending the whole day with my parents, who he absolutely adores, I think this transition is going to affect me way more than him. Hopefully, in a few weeks, I can look back and realize that this new chapter of our lives is not as bad as I thought, and I can will treasure the times I have with Tyler even more!

THE DAY =(

Milestones.....

Life of a mom has proven to be detrimental to my blogging "career"! LOL! But honestly, I have been so busy lately and haven't got a chance to update this blog. If you were to ask me what I have been busy with, I can't really tell you. Every day seems to be the same but yet a bit different, I can barely keep track of what day it is in the week. I guess this means I have finally settled into my mat leave (at least I am not counting down to the weekend every minute nowadays), but too bad, this is all going to end very soon, I am back to work at the end of September.

It seems like it was just yesterday when hubby and I brought our brand spanking new baby home, the past 10 months were full of joy, tears (happy, sad, frustrated tears) and tons of challenges. Tyler has grown so much in the last 10 months, from a 7 pounds 4 oz blob to an almost 20 pounds crawling machine. As I go through his old photos, I regret not taking more pics, more videos and recording his milestones. I am going to use this post to capture some of his significant milestones, before I forget...

Tyler's first day home (Sept 13, 2009):



First time laughing out loud (December 26, 2009_3 1/2 months):



First time eating solids - he LOVES food (Feb 12, 2010_5 months):

First time rolling over both ways (April 1, 2010_6 1/2 months):


First time crawling (June 23, 2010_9 months):


First time calling mama (June 27, 2010_9 1/2months):


I got really emotional as I went through his pictures, I can't believe my little boy is growing up so fast, way too fast...I just have to remind myself every day to treasure every moment with him!

My new green thumb

I never understood the fascination of gardening. Growing up, I remember seeing my parents rushing out to all the garden centers on Victoria Day long weekend, bringing home trays of little flowers, and spending the rest of the weekend planting them. I never pay any attention to what they have planted and never spend enough time at home to appreciate the fruits of their labor.

This year, we decided to work on our backyard, we got the patio and a little garden set up in the back, and I became obsessed with gardening! I love flowers and I always try to have some fresh ones in the house, but have never planted anything outdoor. I went into the garden center by my house for the first time and was overwhelmed with all the variety, but the fragrance and beautiful colors are truly addicting. There is nothing more relaxing and calming to me than walking into a nursery in the middle of a sunny afternoon, surrounded by all the pretty plants. Tyler really loves it too, I have been spending many afternoons with him strapped onto the carrier and walking through many garden centers, he just giggles and laughs whenever I point to a flower, and he loves the warm wind in his face.

My little garden is still a working progress, but the true joy of gardening is watching each plant grow a little at a time, which is exactly like motherhood. I often find myself looking through pictures of Tyler from the past 9 months and amazed at how much my boy has grown. It is amazing how fast things change, a few months ago, I was worried about Tyler not rolling over, but now I can't seem to get him to stay still for more than a second. I can't believe it has been 9 months since our sweet boy has came into our lives, the end of my maternity leave is slowly coming to an end, but until then, I'm going to enjoy every single minute I get to spend with him.

9 months ago (taken at 8 days):

NOW:

Oh ya, he started to crawl today, it wasn't pretty (he mainly uses his hands and one leg and drags the other leg along!!), but it was still exciting to see him get from one place to another.....time to baby proof the house!!

Hmmm..how did my gardening post ended up with talking about Tyler? I guess that is just the way things are now, everything evolves around our little devil boy!!

Self feeding...

Before we started introducing Tyler to solids (back at 5 months), I did a lot of reading about it, and came across a term I've never heard before - Baby Led Weaning. People who start their babies with BLW generally allow their baby to control his/her solid food intake by self-feeding from the very beginning, rather than feeding them purees and cereal. The idea seems very interesting, but I am too much of a control freak and my hubby is too much of a clean freak for us to try it out with Tyler!

But after months of feeding Tyler all kinds of food and letting him self feed crackers, diced fruits and such, I thought we would give it try! We purchased a special soft silicon spoon, and gave him a bowl of yogurt and let him go to town!! And the result was messsssy, but we all had a good time and no furniture were damaged during this experiment!!








I love my messy boy......

First mother's day...

I can't believe my first official mother's day already came and gone! I have always have a very close bond with my mom, but now that I'm a mom, I have a new found respect for my dearest mommy! In Canada, most of us are privileged enough to have a whole year off to spend with our new baby, but in HK (where I was born), moms are expected to be back to work in 6 weeks! I can't imagine even getting out of my pajamas in the first 6 weeks, let alone going back to work! My mom is a supermom in my eyes, she worked hard at her job and also at home, and is always 100% there for my sister and I. I hope I can be as patient and supportive as her with Tyler!

This year, we got our mom a netbook for mother's day, so she can spend time surfing the net and skype with my aunt in HK! We celebrated with brunch at Bloor Street Diner, with a nice spread of the usual brunch fare (including a chocolate fountain!) and a great ambiance...we all went home full and content....

What makes a great mom??

I have been taking a little break from this blog, since I haven't been able to come up with any new topics to blog about. Life with a baby is busy, everyday is different but yet somewhat the same. Baby Tyler and I have been busy with play dates, running errands, swimming and chilling at home, so there is really nothing "exciting" to blog about. But when the new issue of Today's Parents arrived at my door, I knew there is something I can write about.

This month's issue focused on moms (obviously, since Mother's day is coming up), and the cover story is "What makes a great mom?". That's a really good question, I ask myself this question all the time. I would like to say that being a good mom is providing a loving environment for our little ones to grow up in, but nowadays it seems like it is much more complicated than that. Our generation of "hipster" parents are all about material things, it seems like if you don't have the latest toys and gear, you are depriving your baby! I guess being a great mom is very subjective, so after reading the whole magazine, I still don't know what really makes a great mom. However, I realize the type of mom I DON'T want to be...an over competitive mom. One of the articles in the magazine talks about why moms are so competitive, the competitiveness is often a result of being insecure; mothers are always under the microscope, judging and being judged on everything. I have never been a very competitive person, I tend to go with the flow,but I can totally see why it is so easy to fall into the trap of being a competitive mom.

For example, I am very fortunate to be able to spend my maternity leave with a lot of other mommies, and Tyler gets to meet and "play" with other babies. With having so many other babies around the same age, it is hard not to compare them to each other. I know that each baby develops differently, but it is hard not to be worry/wonder why my 6 months old was not rolling over, while my friend's 4 month's old baby is already sitting up. And I know this type of comparison will eventually turn into competitiveness, which can only become worse as our kids grow up, which is precisely what I fear. Growing up, my parents were really easy on my sister and I, they never really pushed us to play piano, tutoring, etc, as long as we did our best, it was okay for them. I really hope I can be like that with baby T, I don't want to be the typical chinese mom who shuffle my son from piano lesson, soccer practice, kumon and other extracurricular activities, all I want for him is to enjoy his childhood. So from now on, instead of obsessing about Tyler's every development milestone, sleep habits, etc, I am going to try to go with the flow, and enjoy my little one and promise to shower him with love, cuddles and tons of kisses!!

And to my friends, if I become one of those competitive and obsessive moms in the future, please give me a gentle reminder! =)

A walk in the park

We have been looking forward to this Easter long weekend for a while, hubby is around to help out with the baby for 4 days and we have been blessed with such great weather. I spent the whole Friday afternoon indoor at church, so I was dying to get out and enjoy the outdoors on Saturday. After going through all our usual outdoor options like unionville main street, shopping downtown, etc, we decided to venture off to High Park instead.

After a long quiet drive (napping baby in the back seat), we arrived at High Park on Bloor and Parkside Rd, we strolled downhill to the mini petting zoo. Although the zoo area was small, there were a lot of interesting animals.

Tyler wasn't really impressed with the animals, so we quickly moved along to other parts of the park. We were pretty surprised at how big and beautiful this park is. There were walking trails, restaurants and benches everywhere, and it was

Tyler loved spending time close to the water and looking at the big willow trees.

We sometimes struggle to find fun things to do with the baby, so I am really glad we decided to check out this downtown park. We are looking forward to coming back in the summer, maybe for a picnic by the water or for a swim in the outdoor pool area!

Happy Easter!

My favorite part of Easter used to be eating chocolate eggs and filet o' fish, but my favorite part now is dressing up my little boy as a bunny!! LOL! I am a big sucker for dress ups.

Happy Easter everyone!! I'm off to eating more chocolate....yummmm....

Nap trainig and heartache...

I always laugh when I hear the phase - "sleeping like a baby", because there is nothing simple or easy about baby sleeping. We learned this right from the day we bought our son home, he was like any other newborn, waking a lot at night and sleeping at different times during the day. That is all normal, but Tyler just won't sleep on his own during the day! For the first few months, the only way we can get Tyler to sleep during the day is to either put him in his car seat and drive around or to hold him for all his naps, which means I could never rest while he sleeps during the day (I envied my friends who were able to nap while their babies nap!) I was willing to do anything to get this little guy to nap because he was such a great sleeper at night. He was sleeping through the night at around 2 months and by 3 months, he was able to fall asleep on his own at night and keep a consistent bedtime. Since he turned 6 months, he started to establish more of a nap time schedule during the day, ie. he is tired around the same time everyday, so I thought he is ready for some nap time training. After all, I can't hold him for all his naps forever, he is getting way too heavy and it's hard to get anything done around the house!

I read "Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits" by Marc Weissbluth carefully as recommended by other moms, equipped with my new knowledge, I felt like I was ready for this new challenge! The book suggests that for every 2 hrs the baby is awake, they should be put down for a nap, so that is exactly what I did. I carefully watch for the clock, the moment Tyler shows any sleepy signs (he would rubs his eyes and yarn), I would start his nap time routine, which included diaper change, swaddle, closing the curtain in his room and nursing. The first two days went great, he was able to nap in his crib (more than an hr for each nap) with minimal crying. It was truly amazing, until then, he has never napped for more than 30min on his own! I was able to have some down time while he napped and was recharged and ready to play with him when he woke up. He was also a much happier baby, no more evening fussiness and baby melt downs! So I thought this was it, boy, was I wrong! Following the initial success, it has been hit and miss, some days he would take a good nap, and some days he would sleep for 30 min and starts crying uncontrollably! As the book suggests, if he wakes up early from his nap and cries, I am suppose to let him cry, so he can learn to put himself back to sleep. He would keep crying while I sits downstairs staring at the monitor, praying that he would go back to sleep, sometimes he does, and he wakes up happy and smiling, but sometimes he would continue to cry until I go pick him up. I can't help but feel like the worst mom in the world as I watch him crying in the monitor, I try to fight every urge to go pick him up, I felt like my heart is literally breaking as I hear him try to cry himself back to sleep. I know he is capable in getting back to sleep, but I just don't understand why he won't, even when he is obviously still tired. I start questioning if this is the right approach, how can it be so hard to "teach" your baby to nap? I felt frustrated, heartbroken and once again defeated!

It has been 2 weeks now, his naps are still hit and miss, I just wish someone can tell me if I am doing this right. But I guess we will just have to keep trying, because I know he is a happier baby when he is well rested. But I really hope this will end soon, I don't know how much more crying I can take! =(

(Tyler - if you ever read this, please know that mommy loves you, it breaks my heart to let you cry it out, but I am just trying to help you learn good sleep habits and be a well rested/happy boy!)

Splashing water..

The weather is starting to warm up, and we knew it is time for us to come out of hibernation! Besides our usual baby class, playdates, stroll around the block and mall trips, we decided to take the little one for his first swim. Hubby and I took Tyler to Angus Glen community center, although it was a little tricky changing Tyler into his swimming trunks while getting changed ourselves, it was a really good experience. Tyler loves the water (we knew that already since he LOVES bath time!), we spent around 30 min in the water, taking turn holding him, and also sitting him in a floatie and dragging him around. We will definitely be bringing him back for more swimming when the weather warms up.

Happy 6 months birthday Tyler!

Can this be true, it's been 6 months since the arrival of our sweet baby boy? To think, just a few months ago, this little man was a total stranger to us, now, we know enough to have developed a dossier.

Name: Tyler
Known aliases: Moo Moo, Tyler bear, poo poo, tofu, bee bee
Likes: Snuggling, bath time, being swaddled tight, the bathroom fan, his white noise bear, blackberry, books, tv, any funny noises made by daddy, his hands
Dislikes: Getting in the car seat when over tired, naps, wiping his face during meal time
Favorite Foods (so far): Milk (a.k.a boob and/or bottle), Sweet Potatoes, bananas and cereal
Favorite Games: Playing with mommy's fingers, peek-a-boo, playing with his washcloth
Favorite Songs: Roly Poly, Zoom Zoom Zoom, ABCs, Bad Romance by Lady GaGa, "Sorry, I love you" by Leon Lai (LOL, don't ask!)

All the festivities planned for today:

Drinking daddy's two-four

Some daddy and son bonding time


Eating his first birthday cake (my hubby looks more eager than tyler)









And of course, what kind of birthday is it without getting into his birthday suit


Our little man has developed such a personality in the short 6 months , he is a happy little guy and brings a lot of joy to our whole family. We can't wait until he talks and walks around, but for now, we are going to continue to snuggle, kiss and hug our little baby before he can run away from us!! =)

Happy 6 months Birthday Tyler!!

Crafts, crafts and more crafts!

My dear friend Carmen is not only sweet but super talented, she made a super cute wood growth chart for baby Tyler!!! Look at this!! It looks amazing...the only problem is, I don't know what pictures to put into the frames! Thanks Carmen!!

As a fellow "crafter" myself, I'm always looking for new craft projects, and luckily there are tons of inspirations online. Since the weather has been so nice, I have put my knitting on hold and decided to venture to other things. My girlfriend Adrienne and I love to attempt what we called "over-ambitious" craft projects, this time, our goal is to make a crib mobile for our boys! Tyler's room doesn't really have a theme, his crib bedding is fill with elephants, so I thought I would try (the keyword here is TRY!) to make a elephant themed mobile.

Here it is! It's still 'work it progress'...but it's looking promising, hopefully baby Tyler will like it! Stay tune

We have came so far...

I have to admit, life as a new mom was a strange transition for me. Right before I went on maternity leave, I had the busiest month at work, being 8 months pregnant, I was running around and working OT for a huge audit at work. Although I was exhausted, I have always enjoyed the adrenaline rush of tight deadlines. The adrenaline rush continued after baby Tyler's arrival, hubby and I were learning how to deal with our new roles as parents, and the constant visitors and emails/phone calls from friends kept things very interesting. However, as the weeks go by, things were starting to settle down, and I found myself feeling blue. The adrenaline was gone, the repetitive routine with a newborn, the constant crying (both baby Tyler and me!), the lack of sleep were all starting to get to me. As I sat in his room in the middle of the night trying to rock him to sleep (in one of his many many night awakenings), I often wonder how other people get through this?? Hubby and I were very prepare before our son's arrival, we read many books and asked many parents for advice, we were equipped with all the latest and newest baby gear, but nothing would ever prepare us for this.

I knew... I would have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby..but I didn't expect to have to wake up every 1.5 hr and feed him for 40 min each time

I knew..babies cry...but I didn't expect he would cry from 4pm to 9pm every evening unless hubby and I take turns holding/rocking/singing to him

I knew..babies eat often...but I didn't expect to be chain to the sofa to feed him every hr for 40 min; by the time he was done, it was starting all over again

But the physical hardship and lack of sleep were nothing compared to the strong guilt I had inside me. After all, I was always the "mother - type", I have always loved kids, and begged my hubby to start a family the moment we got married (actually, I think I started the campaign the moment we got engaged)!

As I look at my baby, I wonder how can something so small and sweet make me feel so defeated?

Every day I would wake up and start counting down to the time my hubby comes home, some days I would even hold my crying baby by the front door, so that I can hand him off to my hubby the moment he steps foot into the door. I would spend days strolling in the mall aimlessly just so I can get the baby to sleep in his car seat, although he was always with me, I just fell really lonely at home. Things were starting to finally turn around at around 3 months, it was a combination of Tyler getting more responsive, sleeping better at night and my increasing confidence as a mom. One night as I sat in bed with hubby recapping our day, I told him: "I think we should keep Tyler (we have always joked that we should give him away to Brad and Angelina), I am starting to fall in love with him!" I can't believe it took me 3 months to feel comfortable as a mom and be connected to my baby.

Nowadays, life is totally different! Baby Tyler is a little bundle of joy at 6 months, all of our breastfeeding problems are behind us, he is still nursing, but LOVES to eat solids. He still likes to cry and annoy his mommy from time to time, but he loves to smile, giggle and cuddle just as much. Although I still look forward to my hubby's return every day, life with this little monster is getting easier to handle. He goes sleep early which gives hubby and I time alone to enjoy our evenings, and on some nights, he even let me get a solid 8 hrs of sleep (crap, I just jinxed myself, I'm sure he is going to wake up now!!) I know it will be months or even years (or never) before I feel 100% confident in motherhood, but I've learned not to obsess about doing things right, but just to enjoy and cherish the journey! I wouldn't have done it without my strong supportive system, my dear hubby, my parents, my sister (who always keep me positive), my cousin Clara (who is the definition of a super mom!) and my dear girlfriends (Adrienne - mat leave would not be the same without you, Lisa - who always makes me laugh), thank you and I love you all!!! XOXO